When No One is Looking

I took care of a woman last night who had me in stitches. She is 99, the sweetest, most well bred, well poised woman... sophisticated and well traveled. Last night she got up to go to the bathroom round 3am. I heard her as she was entering the bathroom. I quickly got up to assist in anyway she needed as is my job but also kept quiet and in the shadows as she loves her privacy. I took my place around the corner and lay in waiting. After she voided she reached for a little eye cup and poured in some solution because her eyes were dry and needed attention. In a split second she knocked the cup over and said out loud "Oh shit... god damn it" with all of the same emphasis and vigor as I would use. Now she had to fill the cup up again. I was watching the whole time not knowing when to step in. She was managing just fine and I didn't want to startle or embarrass her by letting her know that I had been standing there long enough to have heard her swear. After she refilled the cup and used it she started to leave the bathroom. Then she saw me and said "Oh hello... oh phooey I spilled the eye cup and had to refill it, darn thing." It was everything I could do to keep from laughing out loud. I walked her back to her bed, tucked her in, turned out the light and left. People do and say the darndest things when they think they are alone. Never be fooled by a sweet little old lady.

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