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Say what?

Updated: Oct 18, 2020

I wish these stories wouldn't make me chuckle so, dementia is nothing to laugh at but sometimes I just have to LOL.

Every year schools and organizations have an annual meeting or an alumni event. As we know these are mostly fund raising opportunities but it's always nice to see like minded people and you know catch up with who's ever around, possibly even meet someone new.

So one of my "charges" lives at a retirement facility, she's been there for 15 years or so. Her boarding school, one I am very familiar with, was having an alumni luncheon. I encouraged her to attend. I wasn't working that day so someone else took her. When I saw her next I asked how the luncheon went and she said it was fine. Nothing more. She does have a bit of dementia but it's not debilitating, it is possible to engage her in conversation. We do all the time, she's not gaga.

A month or so later I found a picture that was taken of all of the women at this luncheon. I knew one of them really well so I thought the next time I see "Gail" I'll ask her about it. In the mean time I asked my "charge" about the photo. She acknowledged that it had been taken, yes of course. I asked her if she knew Gail and she said no. I asked if she enjoyed meeting her and she said "meh, we didn't talk." OK, guess that's done.

Well the next time I saw Gail she was walking around in the hall way. I stopped to say hi and asked her about the luncheon. Told her I was taking care of someone in the photo and did she happen to know her, meet her that day. She said that she had tried to talk to her but she got no response. That she had just ignored her. "She didn't even look at me!" I tried to explain that she didn't hear all that well plus she has a bit of dementia so she might not have been all that aware. Well, she said she was done with her. She didn't pay any attention to me and now I don't want to have anything to do with her. I tried to explain to her not to take it personally. She should try again sometime. "No" she said "I'm done."

I had to laugh but also feel sorry a little bit too. If these women had met each other even 5 years earlier they could have been great friends. They are both from the same mid western state and had more in common than they realized. But now due to age related circumstances they will never know each other.

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