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The Tissue Issue

What is it with little old ladies and tissues? It is the most common phenomena. Whenever a little old lady leaves her apartment you can bet that she will spend a good ten minutes locating all of the independent tissues located in her purse and in her pockets. Unless she finds at least six then the stuffing begins. She will have a tissue box in each room in order to facilitate this ritual. Then she will begin to stuff the sleeves of her sweaters with tissues. Then she will stuff a few more into her bra, rounding out any empty spaces. Once she is pleasantly tissued she will then stuff them into purse and into her pockets. The soft bulges around her extremities seem no match for the importance of having enough tissues on hand. They can quickly look like a goalie gearing up for a game of sorts. Let's just hope their team wins.When I go to work for these women I never bother to make sure I have my own tissues because I know there will be an abundant supply at the apartment. If you are ever out and about and are in need of a tissue just track down a little old lady and she will happily oblige your request, unless it brings her down to her last 4 or 5 in which case she might decline. She needs her back up supply.Kleenex should market their wares to these women. I love commercials with elderly people and babies. They are always so funny. Kleenex should try to come up with a clever ad campaign geared around elderly ladies and their tissues. As a rival to the Michelin Man they could create a Marshmallow Maiden or a Downy Dame. They'll figure something out. My next question is about when this phenomena begins. I am 55 years old, most of my friends fall in between 50 and 60 give or take. I have begun taking note of when women start stuffing themselves. So far no one my age has started stuffing and no one younger than me has. Sometimes during bouts of cold or flu they will pack a pack of tissues but that seems harmless. No one I know older than me has started packing yet. But I do have one friend, an English maiden under 60, who is all about flowers and horticulture. She has started packing. At any given moment you will find her with a bulge or two up here sleeves. We laughed about it but she takes her stuffing very seriously It seems that slowly we are finding our way but we do have a long way to go. Old ladies are 9 out of 10 who pack, with my age you may find 1 in 10 who pack. It will be very interesting to track this growth. Stay with me...

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