Mom in a Nursing Home, from "to be continued"

Update from "to be continued" from the FTD post. It became apparent that since her new "team" of caregivers had fallen apart that we had to put her in a home sooner rather than later. There was a nice enough one in the town where I live so I went in there to check on availability. I had been in before so had already had the tour and spoken with the admissions lady. It's not one of the big fancy places but then they aren't all they are cracked up to be anyway. They had two beds available, both were in rooms with mates. One with two mates and one with three mates. I thought it would be important for her to have a bed by a window thinking that would afford her some type of privacy no matter how many roomies she had. Ask and thou shalt receive. It took about 2 1/2 weeks for the whole process to be completed. There were numerous medical reports, signatures from Dr.s, from therapists, from the hospital on the Cape, from social workers you name it. Every time we thought we had all the paper work in we found out that we needed one more piece of paper, one more signature. It was agonizing. During this process the two beds that were available were no longer. Now what? Then a few days later another bed became available. Phew! My brother jumped in his car in Portland, drove down to the Cape, picked up mom and off to the nursing home they went. I was in NY that weekend so I couldn't be a part of it all but I think it went well. She got a bed by a window, yaaah! She was very weak when I first saw her that Monday. She'd been there almost two days. She was just as listless as ever. I spoke with the admissions lady and she said that if she didn't improve they were going to have to put her in Hospice. Wow, ok.It's now been over three weeks and she has improved greatly. She has regular activities, regular meals, regular PT and just regular hands on care. Everyone at this facility is really nice and young. All of these young girls starting out in their careers. The older nurses are really nice and don't seem burned out. It's a very low key place which I like. My brother has insisted that he will not sign a DNR. He wants them to exhaust all treatments to keep her alive in the event something happens. That means resuscitation, defibulators, CPR, hospitals the works. I had a long conversation with the admissions lady about this. We both feel it's wrong to put the staff through this and to put my mother through this. She is so frail that she could easily die in transport to a hospital. But my brother wants her kept alive at all cost. These are just some of the issues.

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